The Strong-Willed Woman

 

Strong-willed: Someone strong-willed doesn’t give up easily. A strong-willed person is determined. Your will is your desire or drive to do something, so a strong-willed person is someone with a powerful will. This can be positive or negative. A child who insists on going to the zoo in the rain is strong-willed in a stubborn way. Someone with deep beliefs is strong-willed in a better way. A hero — or anyone who shows courage — is strong-willed. You have to be strong-willed to stand up for what you believe in during difficult situations.

 

Above is the dictionary definition of "strong-willed." I am the strong-willed woman. I was lucky enough to be raised by a strong-willed woman. I am incredibly lucky to have strong-willed women as friends and I am trying my damndest to raise a strong-willed woman. Here are some things that I think qualify women to be strong-willed.

 

The strong-willed woman is opinionated. She believes in her opinions and probably didn't form them overnight. She's stubborn, but only because she's made a promise to herself to do right by what she believes in. The strong-willed woman is the woman who crawls out of bed each morning even though her body and mind says not to and goes to work. She's the woman that has suffered an incredible loss, yet still finds happiness in each day. She's the woman at your work who suffers in silence through anxiety attacks and still manages to get your work done for you.

 

The strong-willed woman is the one who's child has behavioral problems that no one talks about. The woman who's child tells them she hates them, that they wish they weren't their mommy anymore, that they wish she were dead. The woman that hugs them through their temper-tantrums and takes their TV out of their room even though she'd rather lay there with them and watch a movie. The one who continues to tell her children she loves them even when they're kicking and screaming "I hate you" at her.

The strong-willed woman is the woman who's child has a physical or mental disability. The woman who has sat through countless doctor's appointments only to learn nothing new. The woman who has prayed over her child every night to be healed. The woman who has heard her child will never be "normal" and no one can tell her why.

 

The strong-willed woman is the woman who has an empty crib down the hall. The one who sat across the courtroom from the man that caused her this pain with grace and dignity and fought relentlessly for justice and still, to this day, fights for justice. The one who made funeral arrangements for her baby. The one who picked out a headstone for her child. The woman who gave birth to a stillborn baby. The woman who weeps every single time there's only one line instead of two. The woman who names and loves the unborn children she's lost. 

 

The strong-willed woman is the woman who hears all the gossip about her, but never lets it get to her. The woman that people love to talk about. She's the woman that raising babies all on her own and doing a dang fine job at it. The woman that has to allow another female to be involved with her child after a divorce or separation. The strong-willed woman is the woman that no matter how many times she's been burned by men, she fights for love over and over again. She continues to open her heart to people in hopes of finding what the strong-willed woman who raised her found 43 years ago today in her partner. *Happy 43rd anniversary y'all!!*

These two still going strong after 43 years of each other's crap.

The strong-willed woman is the one that carries on. The one that puts the weight of the world on her shoulders to help lighten the load for the ones she loves. She will break her back to help you no matter how heavy the load is for her because she's stubborn. Dare not say she can't carry it all. She can carry her weight and yours too with a grace all her own.

 

The strong-willed woman will never hesitate to tell you exactly what she's thinking. She will tell you when you hurt her, when you say things that upset her and she will definitely let you know when she's mad. You will always know where you stand with a strong-willed woman.

 

If you know a strong-willed woman or, if by some miracle, you are lucky enough to love a strong-willed woman, know this: They're complicated, but never boring. You're privileged to know her. Even more lucky to love her if she loves you back. A strong-willed woman is not for the faint of heart. Be patient with her, she deserves it. She's been through more than you can imagine and yet, she pushes forward. She will strive for excellence even when excellence cannot be found. She expects the best from the people she loves and even though she may not get it, she will push for it.

 

So to all my strong-willed women out there: Be thankful you're not a doormat, that you stand up for what you believe in, and never stop being stubborn. Here's to the strong-willed women. I am thankful to be friends with the strongest women on the planet, to have been raised by the strongest one I know, hopeful I am becoming half of the woman that my mother is and trying my best to raise this already strong-willed child.