Being divorced is never what I wanted for my children, but it happens and it is what it is. It's frustrating yet rewarding. My marriage didn't work out, but our co-parenting did. I feel like I picked the perfect person to have children with. Maybe not the perfect husband, but definitely the perfect father. He's not perfect all the time, but he lives for this little girl and I couldn't have asked for a better co-parent. It's not always perfect and there's HUGE speed bumps along the way, but he's a constant presence in our everyday lives even from another state.
I hate weekends without her. It's lonely and sad and I miss her more than words. I get to be her mom every single day of the week, with the exception of four or so days out of the month and that's okay with me. Some weeks I need that two day escape, some days I don't. This weekend I wanted her home. I was so incredibly bored and just wanted someone to play with. I know she had an awesome weekend with her dad. They rode bikes, ate good food and probably stayed up way too late playing. He gets to be the fun parent and I gladly give him that.
It's never been about the child support. He pays me when he's able and that's okay with me. I promised myself when we divorced that I would never make sharing her about the money and it never has been. Sure, the money is great when I get it, but she's mine. I take full responsibility for her 24/7. She's my child and I am her mom. She's mine to take care of and I make it my sole responsibility financially. I don't bitch at him when he doesn't send money. That's fine. He does what he can, when he can and that's alright by me. He buys her clothes for his house, takes her to do fun things when they're together, and that's enough for me. She's happy and taken care of and that's all that matters to me.
I'm a huge proponent of single, divorced dads. I believe that you divorce your spouse, not your children and not your money. If I call him and say hey "I need this amount of money for her to take dance lessons" he's right there helping in every way he can. It's never about the money. As long as he's front and center for every dance recital, soccer game, school play, and any major event in her life, then he's all he needs to be as a dad. Being a dad is not about financial support. It's about being there for your children. I'm not saying they shouldn't do their part, I'm just saying that if their part isn't being financially supportive, then they can make up for it in other ways and he does that 100%. I will never, ever complain that I don't get what I'm owed according to the State of Alabama. We do things our own way and we refuse to have some Judge who doesn't know us meddle in our business. He's a constant support to me when I need him and a great father to Tyler.
She adores him. He's her hero and she thinks he hung the moon and that's the way it should be. Co-parenting isn't easy, but we've managed to each make sacrifices for Tyler that I know she will appreciate in the future. She has two of the most supportive parents any child could ask for and I know he'll be there at the drop of a hat. He calls her daily, sometimes twice a day and calls to Facetime almost every night. I couldn't ask for more.
But back to the weekends. I miss her so much. It's hard. It will always be hard to share your child. Divorce is hard. It's hard on the kids but I'm glad we did it when Tyler was young. She knows no different except that Daddy doesn't live with Mommy and that's okay with her so that's okay with me. But oh the happiness when that baby comes home. She makes me whole again.
Normally, she doesn't sleep in the bed with me, but sometimes, I just can't help it. To have my little superman passed out in the bed next to me makes my heart whole and I can't give E enough credit for being the father she needs, even if he's not physically there every single day. He's there for her in every way he needs to be, every single time and both Tyler Grace and I adore him. She's my superman and he's hers and I wouldn't have it any other way.
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