The Dentist And The Elephant

So today, TG went to the dentist, among other things. But first, the dentist.

She did surprisingly well considering someone had sharp objects near her face and there was no blood or tears. But this child, I swear, cannot, for any reason, keep her hands off things that aren’t hers. I’m actually surprised she didn’t burn down the dentist’s office. She is now 4 years strong with no cavities. I’m 28 and never had a cavity so she’s got a little bit to go before she’s in my league, but nonetheless, she’s doing alright. Even on the weekends when she lies about brushing her teeth. Child, you are in my face 24/7, I know if you didn’t brush your teeth. Don’t lie.

She also said “ass” which was hilarious. Mallory said she had never had a patient play with her hair and caress her face while she cleaned their teeth. First time for everything, Mal.
 

Afterwards, as a reward for behaving for Miss Mallory, she got to go to the mall and ride the carousel… twice, alone. Yay for kids wanting to do things like that alone. I will literally throw up my lunch if I even look at that stupid thing too long. Then, what does she want? A pretzel. Awesome. Gimme, gimme, gimme, that sweet, salty goodness with extra fake cheese sauce. We get our pretzels and proceed to sit down at the table and eat. Nope. Apparently not.

Me: “TG, what are you doing? You’re just sitting in the middle of the mall floor. That’s gross. What are you doing?”

TG: “I’m just sitting.”

Me: “Well please get up, it’s gross.”

TG: “Nope, I’m having a breakdown. I’ll come sit at the table in a minute.”

Me: “Umm… okay.”

So I just stand there, in the middle of the mall while my kid sits in the floor with her mixed lemonade/strawberry freeze and sorts something out in her mind. Like… just standing there… while she sits… Indian style… in the mall floor next to Auntie Annie’s Pretzels. No tears, no talking, just sitting.

Is my kid having a mental breakdown in Eastdale Mall? What’s happening here? After about 5 minutes, she stands up, looks at me and says “Ok, I’m good now. Let’s sit at the table.” And we did. We sat, we ate. I asked her what she was having a breakdown about and she said “nothing.” Nothing like, it’s none of my business or nothing like, I was just thinking and I needed a minute? I’m not ready for nothing, it’s none of my business. If I still occasionally have to wipe your ass, it’s still my business.

Side note: I am a Bama fan and Evan an Auburn fan. I do my best to accommodate for her to be an Auburn fan, but for very good reason. When that boy breaks her heart when she’s 19, Auburn is a hell of a lot closer than Tuscaloosa. I have sang the fight song, taught her the cheers and suppressed my cheering for my beloved Tide all in preparation of her going to school at Auburn. BUT today, passing by Bama Fever/Tiger Pride, she wouldn’t leave until she took home an elephant. Not going to lie, I smiled a little bit.