Oh, Facebook, You Win.

For those of you who wanted a book, sorry. For those of you who would be satisfied with a blog, you're welcome. This is my first blog. I'm not sure how blog etiquette works so bear with me. I'm not always well-versed. Most days I can't form a complete thought and I just say "fuck" a lot. Sorry in advanced for the "F" word. I like it. It is what it is.

 

I posted a "parenting rant" on Facebook last night, as I like to call it, others call it my "soap box" and I just wanted to reiterate what I said. I never meant for it to become a spanking argument. I don't spank TG because it doesn't work for her, but should I have another child who responds to ass-whoopins, I will gladly hand them out. With that being said, my only plea was for all of us parents to stop judging other parents. We don't know what goes on in their households, maybe it works for them. Awesome. We're all just trying to do our best to hold on and make it through the day. If you lay your head down at night and you have healthy, happy kids down the hall, you're doing alright. Put it in the win column and move on.

 

Every single day since I became a parent, I've pondered for more hours than I'd like to admit about what kind of child I wanted to raise. What kind of woman was I raising for the future? And I've come to discover this about myself: I'm not the woman I want TG to be. I never will be. I was taught different, I learned different. Not to say my parents were wrong or I am wrong, I just want her to be a better woman than me. I want to raise an independent thinking woman. One who doesn't worry with silly ideals of what a woman should or should not be. A woman who knows her worth and demands respect from her peers. A woman who's not afraid to say "fuck." Ok. She got that from me. I want to raise a person that's strong enough to see both sides to a story before she makes her decisions. I want her to be an individual like no one has ever seen. Uniquely her own and fiercely independent. I want her to be loving and care for those who cannot care for themselves. I want her to be the best girlfriend any woman would ever have and always vow to never spill secrets or drinks. I wonder if I shown her these things enough. It's not enough to me to just say them, I want her to see them and believe in them. I want her to know there's more to life than being a housewife, but if she chooses to be just that, then that's okay too. I just want her to have a happy, fulfilled life, whatever that entails.

 

If she wants to drop out of college and travel for a year, hopefully to Bali because I've always wanted to go, then I will do my best to accommodate that for her. If she wants to spend a summer semester following Widespread Panic across the country, ok. Just be easy with the drugs. I won't lecture her and tell her not to, she will be an adult, fully capable of making that decision on her own, but I will say this: if it grows in the ground, it's okay with me. Save the drugs for college. Her high school does hair follicle tests and should she get kicked out, I will lose my shit. I ask that she not get pregnant in high school. Not everyone will agree with this and that's okay. Should she get pregnant in high school, it will be her decision. Should she want to terminate her pregnancy, I'll be the first one in the car, empty of judgment but full of love and support. If she wants to be a doctor and be in school for forever, fine by me. If she chooses to love a woman instead of a man, cool, I just hope she can cook, because we all know I cannot. Should she love a man and his skin color not match hers, please Baby Jesus let it be Shemar Moore or Boris Kudjoe, or someone equally as beautiful. Should she chose to shun religion, who am I to tell her what to do with her soul. Should she join a cult, I will find her and burn that motherfucker to the ground, but that's a story for a different day. Point is, I want the utmost happiness for her, whatever that may be. If it makes her happy, it makes me happy.

 

I don't always have to like her decisions and opinions, but I will always, ALWAYS respect them. I catch a lot of flack as a parent because I allow my child to tell me "no." Trust me, I want her to have lots of practice so she's fully prepared to tell it to the senior captain of the football team, even after a few wine coolers at her first high school party. She will always have an opinion in my household because I am 28 years old, and I still do not have an opinion in my parents' household. I will not have that shit in my house. Should her opinion be utter trash and stupid, trust me, I'll tell her, but should she believe in it with passion in her heart and fire in her eyes, I will not stop her no matter how stupid it may seem to me. Like people who want to live in Antarctica and study penguins. Just why in the actual fuck would anybody want to be that cold. Or the armpit sniffer at the deodorant factory. Seriously, just why in the actual fuck? How does one even go about getting a job as an armpit sniffer? Don't respond to that, I really do not care to know the answer.

 

I'm sure I'll enjoy writing this blog more than I should and I'm sure you'll learn more about me than you ever cared to, but I will say this: I will be honest, however disgusting and distasteful and I will not judge. You have a problem with anything I say, leave it in the comments. I hear you. I'm always open to difference of opinions.

 

I'm not sure exactly how long blog posts are supposed to be or how often one is supposed to post a blog. Feel free to tell me to stop at anytime. Also, I'm sure my future blogs will be prettier, with fancy pictures and all that nonsense. Not this one. Sorry.